Indiscretions by Phoenix James

Indiscretions

To tell the truth
I’ve lost count of the amount of sexual encounters
But in the end when all is said and done
What really counts, is what it all amounts to
Subtract the time taken away, by each night and each day
Minus the cheap thrills and expensive bills and it doesn’t add up to much
I’m left still counting on finding the one for me
Take away the sex and I’d still do it for the company
So what really counts
What it is to be less young, less wild and carefree
Still smiling, less naive
With all that said
I still find myself spending time in bed with women I really have no business being with
Time that would’ve been better spent being with my kids
But at the same time without that, my two offspring wouldn’t even exist
Seems every time I cease and desist, out steps another seductress on a mission to please and persist
And my addictive personality makes good sex a thing hard to resist
Especially when I mostly get back only half as good as I give
I’m like what type of bad behaviour is this
Slipshoddiness, sloppiness, slovenliness
Perhaps therein lies what the problem is
You never know what you’re gonna get
And it’s all a little bit too hit and miss
How easily we forget
And retrospect doesn’t appear to be stopping this
Solving this
In my reconnaissance, I’ve lost sight of how many abortions I’ve played a part in over time
I’ve often contemplated if god is watching, sees it as murder and we’ll all be tried for our crimes
In this life, with it forever weighing on our minds
And in the afterlife, standing before all the faces of the lives we denied
Having to explain why
Why they were forced to die
As said, you never know what you’re gonna get
Speaking of which, death is a high price to pay just to get your needs met
Dick wet, pussy wet
I often say unprotected sex with a stranger is like a game of Russian roulette
But what’s stranger is how I all too often seem to forget with each new conquest
Developing a case of amnesia when it comes to that latex
I told my young teenage son to save sex
And if you don’t son, make it safe sex
Keep in mind I’m too young to be a grandparent yet
And so is your mum
Now he’s the same age as I was when I started having fun
And his sister and him are only apart by 10 months
So my wise advice is like a double contradiction when looking at my life and the things that I’ve done
Maybe I’ll be an old romantic still believing in love and that one day it’ll come
Maybe I missed it, maybe I jinxed it, dismissed it well before it begun
Maybe I’m an escapee, injured, still hurting, in pain and on the run
Loaded shotgun
Nevertheless, I’ve just left the boudoir of yet another woman I know in my heart isn’t the one
And I’m looking back at myself from the bathroom mirror
Like really???
Is this the greatest we can do
Chasing and impregnating women who ain’t even in the faintest concentrating on you
Talking marriage and babies when you only just started dating
There’s a place for people as crazy as you
I’m unimpressed
Maybe you’d be better dressed if you didn’t invest yourself so much in sex the way that you do
In future keep your clothes on
Perhaps you’ll see less stress and be able to get more ahead and progress the day that you do
And yeah you say that you do
But from where I’m looking, lover boy, I pray that you do.

Published by

PHOENIX JAMES

Phoenix James is an award winning Writer, Poet, Author, Spoken Word Recording Artist and Producer. He began performing his poetic words live on stages across the United Kingdom in 1998. His debut spoken word poetry album, The A.R.T.I.S.T, was released in 2000 under the moniker, Phenzwaan. Phoenix James’ first limited edition printed collection of poetry, To Whom It May Concern, was published in 2003. He has toured and performed his spoken word poetry internationally since 2004. Phoenix James has appeared in films, on television and radio shows, and collaborated with other artists, singer-songwriters, actors, musicians, filmmakers, directors and producers. In 2013, he wrote, directed and produced the feature length mock documentary film, Love Freely but Pay for Sex. Phoenix James has written, recorded and released several spoken word poetry albums including, Phenzwaan Now & Forever (2009), A Patchwork Remedy for A Broken Melody (2020), FREE (2021), Haven for the Tormented (2021), With All That Said (2022), and Remixes Volumes: 1 & 2 (2022). He is the author of, Love, Sex, Romance & Other Bad Things, the first collection in his new poetry and spoken word book series. Other books in this series include, Route to Destruction, Delirium of the Wise, Don’t Let the Daffodils Fool You, Call Me When You’re Free, Far from the Outside, The Ones We Didn't Kill, and Lessons from Everywhere, all available in paperback and ebook. Phoenix James lives in London, England and enjoys movies, music, plays, good food, long walks, and travelling. Sign up to his website Newsletter Mailing List to stay up to date with Phoenix James news and new releases. www.PhoenixJamesOfficial.com