Indiscretions

To tell the truth
I’ve lost count of the amount of sexual encounters
But in the end when all is said and done
What really counts, is what it all amounts to
Subtract the time taken away, by each night and each day
Minus the cheap thrills and expensive bills and it doesn’t add up to much
I’m left still counting on finding the one for me
Take away the sex and I’d still do it for the company
So what really counts
What it is to be less young, less wild and carefree
Still smiling, less naive
With all that said
I still find myself spending time in bed with women I really have no business being with
Time that would’ve been better spent being with my kids
But at the same time without that, my two offspring wouldn’t even exist
Seems every time I cease and desist, out steps another seductress on a mission to please and persist
And my addictive personality makes good sex a thing hard to resist
Especially when I mostly get back only half as good as I give
I’m like what type of bad behaviour is this
Slipshoddiness, sloppiness, slovenliness
Perhaps therein lies what the problem is
You never know what you’re gonna get
And it’s all a little bit too hit and miss
How easily we forget
And retrospect doesn’t appear to be stopping this
Solving this
In my reconnaissance, I’ve lost sight of how many abortions I’ve played a part in over time
I’ve often contemplated if god is watching, sees it as murder and we’ll all be tried for our crimes
In this life, with it forever weighing on our minds
And in the afterlife, standing before all the faces of the lives we denied
Having to explain why
Why they were forced to die
As said, you never know what you’re gonna get
Speaking of which, death is a high price to pay just to get your needs met
Dick wet, pussy wet
I often say unprotected sex with a stranger is like a game of Russian roulette
But what’s stranger is how I all too often seem to forget with each new conquest
Developing a case of amnesia when it comes to that latex
I told my young teenage son to save sex
And if you don’t son, make it safe sex
Keep in mind I’m too young to be a grandparent yet
And so is your mum
Now he’s the same age as I was when I started having fun
And his sister and him are only apart by 10 months
So my wise advice is like a double contradiction when looking at my life and the things that I’ve done
Maybe I’ll be an old romantic still believing in love and that one day it’ll come
Maybe I missed it, maybe I jinxed it, dismissed it well before it begun
Maybe I’m an escapee, injured, still hurting, in pain and on the run
Loaded shotgun
Nevertheless, I’ve just left the boudoir of yet another woman I know in my heart isn’t the one
And I’m looking back at myself from the bathroom mirror
Like really???… See More

Relationships & The Rules of CheatingFeatured Video Play Icon

Relationships & The Rules of Cheating

This is an on set interview with me during the shooting of scenes for an independent feature film, where I discuss the character I play and some of the film’s unconventional narrative on the subject of relationships and cheating.… See More

This Is Not the End

The plantations that were green and rich
With vegetation
Have dried up and been left fallow
The clean clear rivers that once ran deep
Have now become polluted
And shallow
The birds no longer perch and sing here
For this barren land would only echo their loneliness
The air has become toxic and unclean
So the trees are unable to breath
Too weak in their bonyness
The high rocky mountains
That once harboured life
Only serve now as tombs to harbour decease
While the seemingly tormented and abandoned desolate land beneath them
Seems to beckon for release
The vultures gather here no more
For they too would die and wither away
In this deserted place of calm unrest
Nothing can live here, so nothing stays here
Nothing can graze here, so nothing ever comes here for fear of death
For as the season changes
The cold harsh windiness blows its dead into scattered bones
And then
Into nothingness
Then comes the sun again
That once made high stench
Of rotting flesh
Now boldly returning
To claim that which is left
New life will come here to this land
Again and again
And die here
Naive to the nature of its trend
Only few will live long enough to move on
And to see
That this
Is not the end.… See More

The Way She Dances

There was even something in the way she entered the room afterwards
You see
Previously, she had been there that night
On the floor
And it was like
You could feel it
Any night you walked in the place
She was there
You could be sure
The rhythms of her hips still clung to the walls of mens psyche
As the condensation that lent itself ever so politely to the ceiling
Dripped in her name
They both came there night nightly
She came ‘cause she had made it her job
And ‘cause it would mean less cash flow in her bank balance if she stopped
They came there for what they really wish they had at home and really should’ve had but
never got
She definitely had something to offer though
It was in her timing, it was in her rhythm, it was in her expression, it was in her flow
She hypnotised men with the way she danced
The way she moved would put you in a trance at one glance
No man or even woman could be held accountable for taking their chance
For she was incredibly beautiful and dynamic
She was a people magnet
And if there was any way any woman ever desired to be physically
Then she had it
And they wanted to grab it
But they just couldn’t have it
‘Cause she had it
In such a way that they could only go with the flow of her habit
Under the control of her spell like magic
And when on her planet
Everything just seems to slow down
Almost to the point where everything stops
And you could hear a pin drop
Though the heavy bass line from the speakers still rocks
And there’s over a dozen people yelling at bar staff wondering why other people coming to
the bar after them are being served and they’re not
And another 200 are on the dance floor making even more noise ‘cause it’s a bank holiday
and they haven’t got work at 9oclock
And even though the MC just asked who wants more soca after the hip-hop
And there’s about 50 people with whistles and horns giving it everything they’ve got
You could still hear a pin drop
‘Cause she was hot
And mesmerizing
And when you were in her zone
You were alone
Couldn’t hear or say a thing
You just had to watch her body sing
And glow
Like a sodium lamp
Watch her go
She’s the podium champ
And though her clothes were damp
She followed the code of a vamp
Cunningly seductive
And it worked
She was hired to keep the club on fire
And it worked
She was finally being paid for something she love to do all day anyway
So she worked
And played
At the same time
Until it was time to go backstage and change
And all she’s thinking about is counting out her change
To see how much money she’s made on top of her minimum wage
Thinking how much time she would’ve saved
If she had utilised her talents at an earlier age
But like most of us
She was challenged by those rainy days
Now she just works and plays
As she dances her pains away
While men just watch and pay
As she takes their brains away like slaves
As they gaze at her with praise
And another of her days
Has just come to and end
But she will be here tomorrow
At the same time
Again.… See More

These Words

Let these words
Eternally bless you
As they undress
And caress you
Stroke you
And provoke you
Open you
And evoke in you
A desire
Wild as fire
A need irreplaceable
A passion aggressive and insatiable
A lust for loose lips
That drip
Words in multiples
So freely, so frequent and so hot
That you won’t want them to stop
Running
But keep coming… and coming… and coming
Let these words get in you
Touch every nerve and sinew
Let them send you hurled into
Worlds renewed
Serve you with a verse from the food of truth
Shelter and clothe you
Wash over you
Clean you, redeem you
Take you deep within parts of yourself you’ve never been to
Thought you might never find, never see or in your life time get to go to
In their embrace let them enfold you, hold you, mould you and control you
Let them forever remind your spirit, mind, body and soul from head to toe that I, Phoenix James
told you
To be reassured
And to make no mistake
That you can respect and take these words
Or you can reject and hate these words
But you will never ever be able to forget or forsake these words
Neglect or shake these words
Dissect or break these words are
Composed in phonetic code not verse
So such attempts would only serve to recreate these words
Even now as I speak, they seep deep into your subconscious changing from form to form
like the universe…
Is vast… are free…
Free as the unseen seed that freely grows
Free as the unseen energy that freely flows
Free as the very breath flowing from your nose
Free as the unseen force of spiritual law that controls
Let them steal you, let them heal you, let them elevate your soul
These words of sustenance penned for empty bowls
Let them fill you up, warm you up, give you goose bumps, curl your toes
Let them itch you, let them scratch you, annoy you, get all up in your clothes
Let them course right through your veins like our ancestors woes
Let them in, let them under your skin, into your flesh, into your bones
Let them get to you, let them infect you, let them kill you, resurrect and rebuild you
These words used to raise slaves from the dead and they still do
Let them will you, fulfil you, distil you, thrill you
Chill you in the blistering cold of their winter nights
Singe you in the hot heat of their blazing sunlight
‘Cause you see, I want you to feel these words
Digest these words…deep inside your chest conceal these words
Breathe these words as I speak these words
Be replete with these words so even in sleep
You can repeat these words
I believe every soul across the globe should know these words
So I go tell these words, go sell these words
Go through and repel hell with these words
And here now they dwell
Like the tenacious scent of natures purest herbs
Can you smell these words…
Can you?… See More

THE A.R.T.I.S.T

(The Abilities Required To Inspire Sacred Things)

He always says a few short mantras in the form of a quiet prayer to himself as he carefully selects and lays out his choice of brushes and colours he would be using for that particular day, he would say, ‘there’s a certain creative doorway you must mentally pass through before you can ever even have a hope in making love to the canvas’ you see, it was his belief that each new canvas should be treated like a beautiful woman you were being intimate with for the first time, the same care with which she would be touched is the same care with which you should use the brush, from beginning to end, from the very first time you approached ’til the moment you departed, he said, ‘each and every stroke should be exact, precise and accounted for by the artist, nothing should be accidental or without reason, the artist must understand and be in tune with the principles governing the higher self, allowing him to account for all he produces both in the conscious mind and in the sub-conscious’.… See More

S.T.E.P F.O.R.W.A.R.D

(She Talks Esoteric Parables Focusing On Rectifying Worlds Altering Reality’s Destiny)

She talks esoteric parables
Focusing on rectifying worlds
Altering reality’s destiny
Against her will, she gave birth
To the twisted underground
Her mind now like spaghetti junction
She feeds on alphabet porridge
To increase her knowledge function
Souping up her faculties capacity through suction
Soaking up the answers to her existence
Practising reverse mind abduction
Separating nonsense
From a world that spins triangle
In rectangular heptagons
Pinpointing the source to its blueprint of confusion
And the fountainhead of its candy coated
Created illusion
But first, she had to sacrifice the soft and tender parts of her heart
Temporarily amputated them from her thinking
Making her third eye more receptive
So she could see the future’s future
And alter it via its past
Manipulating the gift of prognosis to assist
Her purpose
She now a psyche sorceress
A sorcerous soothsayer
Her voice like sign language
Prophesying
Revealing the signs of the times
To come
Subconsciously transforming her body into
A vessel
To deliver verbal projectiles
Whilst trying to reopen senses
To deeply imbed her ideals
And inject her effigy
Of the way things are
And how everything should be
Orally drilling into the coffin of dead spirits
In order to resurrect them mentally
With her lyrics
Provoking souls to proliferate
With renewed perception and insight
But first, she had to momentarily paralyse her weaker emotions
So she could gain strength from hard times
And become an elixir to her plight
Her pain and her fame
Can be found deep woven into intellect cities
Or entangled in decision crossroads
Her walk is parabolic Jesus fashion
Her step is forward
But before she could step forward
She had to step back
Backwards
Walking the hardships of the hardline
Like a tightrope
Above a pit of sleeping heads
Taking precautions not to fall back
Fall back in her thinking
For the fate of tomorrow’s sun people sits
Burning indelibly at the back of her eyes
She talks esoteric parables
Focusing on rectifying worlds
Altering reality’s destiny.… See More

No Retreat, No Surrender

Why just recite poetry
When I can turn words to sodium nitrate
Ignite each verse, watch it explode and feel my soul vibrate
Shaking demons off
Propelling me closer to my dreams and goals and the achievement of
It’s expensive keeping the flame alight though
You wouldn’t believe the cost
Sacrifice
Sometimes you have to die to be alive so I don’t grieve the loss
And as long as I can still taste the sulphur on my lips
I know I can burn every vulture off that cliff
And what can you tell me
Nothing
Until you know what it is to be down in that valley
Surrounded
Praying that the fables aren’t true
But praying to who
They say god left this place long before you were born
So that leaves them and you
In a dusty torn robe
Grazed elbows and dirty finger nails from scratching at the stones
Trying to escape
To some other place
Doesn’t matter
Just somewhere else
We create our world and try to escape from our self
Tripping over at every attempt
As though our feet were tied
Falling to our knees
Crying to the skies
Begging for time to slow down
So we can catch a piece of the sun
Before it disappears behind the horizon
And now that your time has come
Have no regrets
Except that you couldn’t tell somebody sooner
That when the solar rays that radiate their day fade away
That they could use the moonlight to illuminate their night just as bright
That no condition is permanent
And that it’s okay to cry
That even the wise are still learning
And that in every wrong there’s a right
I don’t care if you have to lay booby traps and tripwire through the forest
Plant letter bombs in their mailboxes
Wire live grenades to their doorframes
Detonate dynamite under their cars
Desecrate their places of worship
Set fire to their gods
Use violence
Use politics, use sex, use science
Peacekeep with guns
Drop bombs and demand silence
Get them
Demand their attention
And when they’re listening
Tell them
The only thing consistent..… See More